Life towards humility continued…
As I have written before, through the Lord’s leading I have altered or changed my focus of what Christianity actually is and means. A few months ago I struggled to read and pray daily…in fact there were months that I never opened my bible. My prayers consisted of very short about me or needs of others while I was coming and going. They were half-hearted, not because I didn’t mean them but because I was preoccupied with what I was doing or working on! I felt I was okay because from what I could tell, everyone around me was living the same way. Same struggles to read regularly, same ideology that God understands we are busy and do not have time to read and pray today…tomorrow…and the next day.
The whole time I lived in this state I felt there was something missing from the church…but it wasn’t the church per se but in me! What was wrong was me? My theology, ideology, my preconceived ideas, my ignorance, my laziness, my justification for living a content lifestyle, and my lack of Love for Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.
There were sins in my life I had struggled with for years trying to remove for God. I thought it was my responsibility to remove them from my life…oh was I so wrong! As I have sought after our Lord Jesus Christ, these sins have disappeared and as of right now when temptations rise up against me the Power of Jesus Christ rises within me and cast them down through Praise and realization of His Greatness! The content in which those sins are in are beginning to be gut wrenching, detestable, undesirable, and heartbroken…not nearly enough but I can sense the changes in me!
Prior to this change in my life I was a selfish little boy wanting all my big boy toys! I had plans to buy another atv, camper, boat, tools, and so many more…my wants seemed endless! Now I have come to realize that I am hemorrhaging in the blessings of God! I am so blessed to live in America, for a Godly wife, restored relationships with my brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, and grandparents, in-laws who love and care for me, McCrary’s who accept me as one of their own, restoring a relationship with the mother I knew growing up, bringing me out of drugs, alcohol, lies, violence, and raising me up to break down generational curses that have bound my family for generations, I am healthy, not hungry, comfortable bed, many bibles to study, freedom to worship Jesus without fear, blessed in my work, and blessed with abilities and intelligence! When the world counted me out, Jesus rose up and took me out of this world and set me a apart for His Kingdom! My wants and desires have been altered! I no longer want for myself but now and still growing, a desire to help others in need. To serve others through the Love of Jesus Christ that has been given to me by Jesus Christ!
I know realize I am no one, a no body, incapable of accomplishing anything on my own. I now realize I am not better than the pimps, prostitutes, drug users, alcoholics, homosexuals, murders, liars, thieves, molesters, homeless, Muslims, Baptist, Methodists, Catholics, UPC, Apostolic, or any other man or group of people. For we are all born into a life of slavery of SIN because we come from the seed of man. Praise God!! He has pulled me out of the slavery and bondage of sin and has set me on the path for the Promise Land!
Wow…I am sure most already know this but it just hit me! Just like God used Moses delivered Israel from the Pharaoh and led them to the promise land, Jesus has opened a door for deliverance and through the leading of the Holy Spirit, God, Jesus; we are lead to the promise land as well! Amazing!!
I cannot say I have reached or experience the relationship with Jesus I long for, but far from it. I can say though that I have experienced a relationship with Jesus like I have never experienced! He continues to work on me every day, revealing Truths I have never realized! Some examples, I was so concerned about the spiritual warfare that it hindered me from outreach and other ministries I was being led into because I didn’t feel I was ready. What I have come to realize through the Holy Spirit is who cares about the warfare, yes it comes with outreach and intercession but to focus on Love, Serving through Love, Preaching through Love, Teaching through Love, Interceding through Love, Praying with Love, in Everything with LOVE! When we do things in Love for God, and the Love of God that fills our hearts, overflows and pours out of our hearts into others! When we do things in Love we do not mind standing in the GAP no matter how difficult it is to be the bridge for them to get to God!
You might ask, what do you mean? Think of someone you love, parents, children, spouse, etc. If that person was in a life threatening situation, say about to be attacked by a pack of rabid wolves…would you just stand there and let them kill that love one? Or would you intercede, fill the gap between that loved one and the wolves allowing them to attack you knowing you might lose your life, just in the hope that your loved one can get to a safe haven, to live and not be injured? The fact that it is going to hurt intensely and life threatening doesn’t matter anymore because the love that you have for that person is greater and you gladly give yourself up for them! That is exactly what Jesus did for us!!! As we grow in a relationship with Christ and begin to somewhat understand His unconditional LOVE for us, He who loved us before we ever knew Him, we begin to demonstrate that love in our lives…it is that love that makes us Christ-like! It is in that Love we are to share with the world and fill the GAP!
I just want to encourage everyone to read the Living Word of God! To seek a relationship with the Creator of Everything, the King, the Savior! Realize that He has set you a part for a purpose and has a calling for your life and you are vital to the Body of Christ! You do matter, but you have to seek Him and let the Holy Spirit guide you! Be honest with God, tell Him that you do not love Him as you should or to continue changing your heart to be more like His. Tell Him your fears of being taken from your comfort zone! Tell Him you want His will for your life and ask Him to change your heart to desire His will! At first developing the friendship will seem like work but as the relationship grows He will be all you desire! (Not there yet but I have woke up the past few morning wanting to be with Him and upset I did not get the time with Him like I desire…that’s a huge change for me!) SCREAM IT…JESUS I WANT YOU!
