I haven’t written in a while. Not for sure why, might be because I have determined that my opinions/beliefs might not be worth mentioning or just been to busy. Maybe a combination of both. Though with that said I choose to write this…a mere suggestion for a New Year’s Resolution…guess for those who do not have one yet.
This season is harder for me than most, for it reminds me a lot of my dad. He was an avid hunter, even when it wasn’t hunting season he was already planning the next season and if that isn’t enough of a reminder we share the same birthday in November. For me there is no escaping his memory during this time of year. It is going on 3 years since he has past away but as each year comes to a close I like to reflect back and evaluate a lesson in life I learned through his and my mothers passing.
Maybe this is a lesson some people are born already knowing while for others they are taught by life. For me, life was my teacher. This week someone very dear to me lost her mother, though I feel she is someone who already understood this lesson. I feel that despite the hardship that comes naturally from a lose of a loved one she will have comfort in knowing she never took the life of her mother for granted.
For me this is not so. There were years in my life where I was very angry with my dad and I blamed him for many things. Then as time went on and I forgave him we began to grow closer together but as much as one could being the son of a trucker. When he was home more I was already older and was either pushed away by step-moms, busy working a lot, or in college and didn’t spend much time with him. Then there was 1 1/2 years I was involved in a game during college that not only kept me away from visiting or hunting with my dad but my wife as well…put a major strain on our marriage.
You might have already picked up on where I am going so I will wrap this up. My relationship is very ironic. Growing up I despised the very thing he loved to do but now I love doing the same. I might have despised it cause I felt he cared more about hunting than us at times. Could have been that when I did go with him I froze because of lack of gear and grew restless sitting on a lean-to stand all day holding a metal gun without gloves. I didn’t find interest in it until around my sophomore year of college when I went hunting with him in MS and actually enjoyed it. Since I was busy working 2 jobs and college I wasn’t able to go hunting with him very much.
Growing up there was always a disconnect between us because 80% of the time his main interest was hunting and mine was not. We didn’t work in the same industries so he picked on me for being a pencil pusher and that was about it. I always struggled holding conversations because I never knew what to talk about. Usually we ended up watching some western on T.V. or a hunting show.
The more I hunt the more my love for it grows. Now, I absolutely love hunting and feel that if I can still be excited about next year when this one hasn’t ended and such a bust just proves that in this case my interest in the sport is for the long haul. I cannot help but to imagine how our relationship would be now if I would have taken the time to go with him then and developed this common interest with him while he was able to hunt. Though I will never know.
I am very thankful that I got to go hunting with him for a few years before he got so bad off and he could no longer go. Unfortunately at that time I was only able/willing to go a couple times a year. See I always figured I would be able to hunt more with him the next year but for me my “next years” ran out. It wasn’t until after his death that the weight of having no parents sank in. That is when I learned this lesson of life and decided that I need to make changes in mine.
So my suggestion is not to take the life of your loved ones for granted. Make a new years resolution to take time out to spend time with them, visiting, hobbies, etc.
There are many proverbs out there I have heard my whole life, one stands out more than most to me now. “Never know what you had until you do not have it anymore.” I hope you are not like me and seem to always learn from experience rather than take wise advice even if it is from old proverbs.
*I am sure there are spelling/grammatical errors*
